enough....

CHRIST IS enough for me!
I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back! No turning back!

The other day I saw a prayer on the KLOVE facebook page & it's been my heart cry ever since:

Help me to rid my life of anything that does not honor You, and stop living life just to make myself happy. Oh Lord, I don’t want to miss out on a higher calling from You because I’m too focused on instant gratification.

Let me run towards the only thing that will completely fulfill me, a meaningful relationship with You.

CHRIST IS ENOUGH! He will fill every hole in my heart if I will simply turn to HIM. So many times though... I look to instant gratification instead... I look to what I THINK will make me happy in the moment rather then pausing... taking a breath... and focusing on Christ. And in the process, I miss out on what He has called me to... a moment of walking in HIS Peace & Presence. It's funny... when we give in to those things which bring us instant gratification... we ALWAYS feel guilty afterwards (well I do any way...). However, when we pause to fix our thoughts & our hearts on Christ in those moments... He fulfills whatever it is we are lacking in that moment... and we ALWAYS walk away with Peace in our hearts.

Oh Lord... that I would remember in THAT moment... that YOU are ENOUGH for me & that only You can truly satisfy. 

Matthew...

Yesterday as the speaker at church was talking about speaking of Jesus to everyone... I felt a challenge from the Lord to read a chapter a day from Matthew to just... get to know Jesus more. Last night I read the first chapter & though it's relatively short & has a lot of names listed... I focused on the five women mentioned in this chapter.

Tamar - who took matters into her own hands so she could have a child
Rahab - who was a prostitute saved by grace
Ruth - who was a foreigner in a strange land
Bathsheba - who was married & had an affair with the king
Mary - the one who was chosen by God to give birth to Jesus

Each of these women were chosen by God to be a part of the lineage of Jesus. Each of these women exhibited great courage in the midst of their circumstances. These women were not all perfect & without fault BUT God still chose to use them for His plans & purposes.

I love how these women are mentioned... maybe just for me... because it shows me that I don't have to be perfect to be used of God & to be mentioned in His book... it shows me that His love & grace extends to even me... and it shows me that all He needs... is a willing vessel.

Lord, may I be a willing vessel... flaws & all... in the midst of Your plans & purposes... even when I can't see what they might be at the time... may I exhibit courage & strength to daily... follow You.

the pit...

I hesitated on writing this... but I kept feeling like I should so...

In the Jesus Calling devotional today it talked about being on guard against the pit of self-pity. I believe though that we should be on guard against the pit in general.

As someone who is in the process of having Jesus pull me up & out of the pit... I can tell you... the edges of the pit DO crumble easily & once you are on the way down... it's SO very hard to get back out!

I was headed toward the pit last summer without even realizing it until the edges of the pit began to crumble around me & down I slid.. hard & fast. Yes, self-pity had some to do with it but there was more... I had let down my guard... I had stopped holding up the Shield of Faith... I had taken off the breastplate of righteousness & I had put down the Sword of the Spirit. I had become so consumed with school & studying for boards that I lost sight of the most important part of my life... my relationship with God. I began to grumble & complain about not passing boards, not having a PTA job & feeling like God had abandoned me in solitary confinement... I definitely had lost my focus on the One thing that mattered most... HIM.

I'm SO thankful that God, in His wonderful mercy reached His hand down & asked if I was ready to get out of the pit... I'm SO thankful that even though there have been times I've started to lose my grip... He has held on even tighter... and hasn't let go of me yet! I'm SO thankful that He still loves me in spite of my mistakes & that He reminds me daily of His Love & faithfulness.

I loved the tips provided in this devotional on protecting yourself from the pit...

1) Occupy yourself with praising & thanking Him

2) Live CLOSE to Him because the closer you are to Him... the more distance there is between you & the pit

3) Live in the Light of His Presence by fixing your eyes on Him & RUN towards Him... don't take your eyes off of Him!! As you focus your eyes on HIM... you won't stumble & fall.

These are good words... & from someone on the way out of the pit... there is Truth in these words.

Oh Lord... that I might continually keep my eyes focused on YOU from this day forward! Thank You SO much for continuing to Love me in spite of my foolish heart... Thank You for Your mercy & grace & goodness towards me... And thank You... for not letting go.

Chosen confirmed...

This morning I had to select a new devotional on my phone since the one I've been doing in Philippians was complete. I selected one called She Reads Truth - Colossians. This morning the devotional focused on Chapter 1 verse 1:

This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus... (NLT)

The writer of the devotional took it from The Message Version which says: "I, Paul, have been sent on a special assignment by Christ as part of God's master plan." She encouraged us to put our name in place of Paul's so it would read:

I, Bonnelle, have been sent on a special assignment by Christ as part of God's master plan."

My paraphrase... I, Bonnelle... have been chosen by the will of God... I am chosen by the will of God & today He is sending me on a special assignment.. I am chosen & a part of HIS master plan!! Now... I'm not sure about the apostle part BUT I know that God has a purpose in mind for me today & that it's all a part of HIS plan.

Then... just a little while later I received a text from a dear friend which said: "You are accepted by the Beloved! Just thought you might need to remember that today. Make this your declaration today!!"

So between the two... I am accepted by the Beloved & chosen by the will of God to go on a special assignment as part of His great master plan!!

Wow... What a GREAT way to start the day!!
Blessings!

deep waters...

I have a verse written on a sticky note on my computer that speaks to my heart every time I see it...

2 Samuel 22:17 & 29:He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters... You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.

This morning when I first woke up, the verse I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13) came to me in the form of a devotional. As I pondered on that verse & the verse from 2 Samuel I felt like Peter... I have been struggling in the dark, deep waters... trying to keep my head above water but... I'm growing weary. I don't want to go under & I'm trying to reach up to Him but at times... I feel like I just brush His fingertips. This morning I prayed that Jesus would give me the strength I need to reach out & that He... in His mercy would reach down from on high & take hold of me... to draw me up out of the deep waters.

So many times I have found myself having a hard time letting go of things "that so easily entangle me" & I have been in that place again recently. During worship this morning Jesus gave me a very powerful picture... I was out in the midst of the water... in very dark, stormy waters. He showed me that the things I have been clinging so tightly to were pulling me down into the water... much like a weight tied to my waist or ankles. It was almost like the scene in the movie The Titanic where Rose had to let go of Jack's hand... by doing so she chose to live. Jesus showed me that in letting go of the weights that are pulling me down... I choose to live & move forward in what He has for me but if I choose to hold on tightly to those weights... they will only continue to pull me down. In that moment I had a choice to make... "Let go," I heard Him whisper... As hard as it was & has been... I knew I had to let go... and as I let go... I could feel Him lift me up & pull me out of the deep waters. I could see Him helping me into the boat with Him where it's safe & warm. In that moment... I chose to LIVE!

Protection & shield...

Last week when I was praying about a situation from many years ago... Jesus gave me a picture of Him walking me out of that situation with His arm around me... protecting & shielding me from that situation as well as the comforting me in the midst of the hurt. He told me that He was still doing that for me... every day. This morning I was greeted with this scripture on my Bible App:

But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your protection over them, that all who love Your name may be filled with joy. For You bless the godly, O LORD; You surround them with Your shield of love. (Psalms 5:11-12)

I love how as we seek refuge in Him... as we seek to please Him with our lives & hearts... and even when we stray from His path... He spreads His protection over us & keeps us safe... He surrounds us with His shield of love... always... no matter what!

Renewing my mind...

So lately I've been REALLY distracted. First there was school, then boards, then some craziness that I can't even talk about just yet!! The first part of January Jesus told me it was time to "refocus" my heart & mind on Him. Well, here I am the first part of February & I'm still struggling with my heart & mind & thoughts...

This morning when I first woke up, I had some runaway thoughts & I came out to my laptop & journal & the first thing I wrote was: In this moment... I purpose to refocus my thoughts, my heart & my mind on You, Jesus. Today I choose to set my heart towards You.

I was amazed as He brought scriptures to me that spoke directly to my prayer:
Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life... (Philippians 2:12-16)

This is what I pulled out of it:
- Obey God with deep reverence and fear - you can do this because He's already working in you, giving you the desire & the power to do what pleases Him.
- Don't complain & argue.
- Live a clean, innocent life as a child of God - in this way you will shine like a bright light in a dark world.
- Hold firmly to the Word of Life.

Then today's devotional in Jesus Calling was on how "A renewed mind is Presence-focused." and the scripture passage was from Romans 12:2. I always like how The Message Bible has it:
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as and offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention to God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Today... I fix my attention on God... Lord, please change me from the inside out. Renew & transform my mind. Bring out the best in me & continue to give me the desire & the power to do what pleases YOU. 

 

Forgetting the past...

... but I focus on this ONE thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I PRESS ON to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:13-14)

Today... I choose to forget the things that are behind me... I choose to forget the mistakes I've made & the shame I've walked in lately and instead... I choose to walk in His Love & Grace & FREEDOM & I look forward to what lies ahead!! Today I choose to press on & keep my focus on HIM so that when I reach the end of this race He will great me with arms open wide & say... Well Done!

Here's to a New Year & a brand New Day!!